Broken ~ rabid

I'm going to be honest here: I am extremely anxious about this release, because I have no idea what the reception of this track will be.
This is a track dedicated to those who have struggled with depression.

Spoiler:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkyzuHPprZQ


If you like it, please consider supporting me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/rabidsquirrel

Watch this track in LRJS: http://conundrumer.com/lr/?track=https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/88470717/my%20projects/Minimalist%20Done.track.json&audio=https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/88470717/my%20projects/08%20Powdered%20Hand.m4a

This track has a narrative. It's an abstract journey.
Somehow, you've managed to communicate emotion through the track.
We don't get tracks like this very often.
I'm inspired.

I half expected The Petals Fall Thrice to be an inspiration

I'm not sure I felt the full intended effect, but I may need a rewatch. Could you clarify why the messages are in a "broken" kind of font? I see the structure of the track as a visualization of an inner struggle but I'm not sure how exactly to interpret the sentences that appear (are they inner voices, external voices, etc).

Well, it's certainly a long track for having <300 lines probably only just over 200. I am not a fan of this kind of track, I basically got bored waiting for it to pick up in intensity or be over. I like exciting tracks and this wasn't that exciting to me. But I suppose it did what you wanted and thats what matters, I basically play for fun nowadays, and we all should really, there isn't enough people to really make it worth making something 'for the audience.'

It's hard for me to form an opinion on this track, video, project?. Partly because it's so abstract that I don't get it and partly because there is, you know, barely any track. I'll try. You asked

I suppose I liked the text, and the control you had over Bosh. The lack of speed was quite relaxing. However, my biggest problem is that the message you (are trying to) convey is opposite to the vibe of the track. In my experience, at least. What I got from it was this: the track is a tedious upward struggle without end. The text says I'm worthwile and valued. Is Bosh the one with depression? Why did the track change so drastically (well, relatively) 2/3rds in? My earphones must be broken because I didn't notice such a big change in the music. What even is the role of the song?

Clearly you left me with more questions than answers. It's interesting because I've never experienced this before, but you probably didn't succeed in what you wanted to do then. I know you didn't (don't?) feel welcome in this community. To me, it seems like this thing was made for yourself, especially when you say you're anxious AND proud, which makes the whole experience even more strange. Nevertheless, it's quite a feat you managed to create such a personal track with less than 300 lines.

My favorite part was definitely the uphill, just because usually Bosh sees a steep incline and he's like "yeah i got this" and kramual cannon's over it. This definitely portrayed a journey in that sense.

Also, the uphill part wouldn't have been nearly effective had it not had any buildup.

It was relaxing to watch, and yet at the same time agonizing. The way that bosh seems so sad and depressed somehow got to me. And I got chills at the text. To me it looked like after the first bit of text, the track got a bit more vibrant, after which Bosh tries to go up and succeeds. After which he hears that he is valued and he continues forward in a calm fashion <phase out>

Obviously this is all very abstract and open to many interpretations, but in any case I have to say it was an interesting watch. Different then anything else really and it really makes me think about what things are possible in Line Rider. I wonder if we can portray other emotions like this. With the right song and the right track, I think it should be possible! Amazing job on this!

Loving the responses so far, thanks everyone for being honest and thoughtful.

This was not intended as track about myself, it was a track made for those struggling with depression. I suppose you could say it was a track made for my 2014 depressed self. Therefore, the text is intended as an earnest message to the viewer. (Just saying this so people don't think that I am trying to like, show you my pain and tell you you're an asshole for causing it, because that was definitely NOT the intent lol)

Beyond that, I don't want to be like "This is what I intended" because I like seeing what people arrive at discoveries and conclusions on their own. That said, Apple, efraz, and ZNF all have great insights.

Spoiler:

honestly thought tracks like this were shitty and a waste of time until i realized the meaning. really dope and creative track man.

it has a cool meaning and everything, but its annoying to watch for more than 30 seconds

that being said, you were limited by the rules of the contest, so i think you hit your mark pretty well

the way you did the syncs was pretty cool aswell

I really liked that, rabid. There were some parts that were composed of maybe 5 lines that were able to convey entire messages. "It might take more than one try." "You will get through it; just maybe not in the way you originally planned.". "Sometimes you'll circle the solution once or twice before you find it."

I loved it. Good job, and I appreciate that you decided to make this kind of track. :')

ACwazHere wrote:There were some parts that were composed of maybe 5 lines that were able to convey entire messages. "It might take more than one try." "You will get through it; just maybe not in the way you originally planned.". "Sometimes you'll circle the solution once or twice before you find it."

[5/5/16, 7:29:36 PM] Ben Harvey: oh wow
[5/5/16, 7:29:38 PM] Ben Harvey: he GOT it

<3

From Skype:

[5/4/2016 10:38:53 PM] OTDE: It's because you set up these moments where you know something is about to happen, and the expectation builds
[5/4/2016 10:39:34 PM] OTDE: Because your flatsled follows patterns, expectation is built, and a flow of tension/release happens
[5/4/2016 10:39:57 PM] OTDE: The tension from anticipating the moment and the release from the moment actually happening
[5/4/2016 10:40:15 PM] OTDE: And the payoff for each of those releases is normally fairly minimal
[5/4/2016 10:41:16 PM] OTDE: But because parts of it are repeated, the expectation of divergence from the pattern builds, and it's a bigger, more weighty tension
[5/4/2016 10:41:43 PM] OTDE: And the release when that pattern breaks? Made my back do the tingly thing.

This track was a masterwork in tension. I appreciate the message, and I think AC probably said everything I wanted to better than I could on that matter. Props.

Chuggers wrote:...but its annoying to watch for more than 30 seconds

I may be wrong, but at least to me, that was part of the message. For people with depression, continuing is a hard thing to do. I thought one of the points of making it so long was to specifically make it hard to finish because that's what it's supposed to exemplify.

I just feel like you guys are like going too deep, like why?

Sheldon wrote:I just feel like you guys are like going too deep, like why?

they're pretty much nailing it TBH

You don't do things like make Bosh tumble around on a tiny number of lines for as long as possible, or make Bosh almost stop but not quite, or make a 6 minute track with under 200 track lines, without those things being intentional. So yeah, they were intentional.

rabid squirrel wrote:

Sheldon wrote:I just feel like you guys are like going too deep, like why?

they're pretty much nailing it TBH

I mean I know they are accurate, but I just don't see the point of making a track with so much depth, I watch a track for enjoyment. Not to ponder the meaning of existence, idk this is strange to me.

Sheldon wrote:

rabid squirrel wrote:

Sheldon wrote:I just feel like you guys are like going too deep, like why?

they're pretty much nailing it TBH

I mean I know they are accurate, but I just don't see the point of making a track with so much depth, I watch a track for enjoyment. Not to ponder the meaning of existence, idk this is strange to me.

Gotta agree with Sheldon here

It's okay to not like a thing! But if we want to enjoy this and analyze it, I think it's also okay.

People aren't always going to make tracks you want to see. It follows, then, that people aren't always going to make tracks for you.

Hey guys, I really believe that we should just all be aware & accept that LR can be more than just a technical physics game. It can also be an art canvas. And as we all know, art comes in many forms. Sometimes it's visual (e.g. scenery), sometimes musical (e.g. syncing), sometimes emotional (this track). And let me just say -- it takes A LOT of guts to share something with you have created solely with your emotions. A LOT. This is because emotional opinions are strictly subjective, while opinions of technical subjects are much more objective -- measurable, quantitative. With a technical track, we can say "that wasn't great, but you can do better because of reason x, y, z." With something emotional, you can only say, at least internally, "That resonated with me" or "That did not."

We just like different stuff, and that's really the "end of story" in my view. Imagine you're on a music forum, and you're a fan of dubstep music. You go into a thread where somebody has posted their brand new song named "Broken", not knowing what to expect. You listen to it, and alas, it's a country song, 6 minutes long. You, not being a fan, comment with "I don't get what you're hoping to accomplish here. Just why? Where are the drops?"

Now I am not judging anybody with whom this video doesn't resonate. I'm just not happy with those kind of comments. As someone who has posted "risky" artsy stuff online, I think that if you don't really "get" a piece of art, then why bother commenting just to let the creator know that you don't get it? Instead, I believe you should either just keep quiet, or kindly inquire about it -- celebrating the fact that you don't understand it and aiming to learn something new. In summary, making a video like this requires that you put your heart on your sleeve, which is pretty scary. We should all keep that in mind when commenting.

As a follow-up, showed this to a friend, and here's what he had to say, after I explained the contest.

My roommate wrote:That was really interesting! Every line felt intentional.
I think that the constraints of the minimalist contest didn't do you any favors in regards to the text. It felt like the words should have stood in contrast to the jagged track, as something more smooth and reassuring.

OTDE wrote:It's okay to not like a thing! But if we want to enjoy this and analyze it, I think it's also okay.

People aren't always going to make tracks you want to see. It follows, then, that people aren't always going to make tracks for you.

I feel like if we keep talking like this, its gonna get to someone, and we might have someone else delete their tracks. This way of talking feels to me like the type of talking that made some people quit. I hope this doesn't come off as passive agressive, because that is what I wan't to stop.

I personallly thought the track was good. I have gone through mild depressions before (very mild). And the track and messages rung true to me. To me, the messages show how through depression, there will eventually be someone who shows you that you are "worthwhile" and "valued" (rabidsquirrel). So i feel like this track is a very accurate depiction of this feeling

Just to prove that this track is in fact, relatable to people outside this community (success!) here's a quote from facebook:

Ben, this is so spot on accurate! Every second is worth watching. Thank you for understanding.

That really got to me. I haven't suffered from depression myself, but I've learned a lot from it through psychology so I know some things about it. Here's how I interpreted some of the movements, please correct me if I'm wrong!
The track slowing down around the 3 minute mark feels like the lowest point of depression. Time standing still, struggling to get through life, not knowing what to do.
When the words 'You are worthwhile' appear, the first stage of improvement starts. You go from feeling miserable about yourself to feeling neutral about yourself. When 'Ýou are valued' is reached you go from feeling neutral to feeling good about yourself.
To me the fact that the track goes upward through the first half seems a bit counterintuitive. I feel that the start depicts depression getting worse, so in which case going downward makes more sense. Maybe I interpreted it wrong though. For the rest AC put into words some really cool details.

I really love this release of yours. You can't put more meaning in only 300 lines. 99% sure this will get my vote.