Experiment, part 2

by rabid squirrel Sun Jan 24, 2016 3:15 pm

Feedback and constructive criticism appreciated

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nw0-eOvV27I

by **Opal Rider** Sun Jan 24, 2016 3:30 pm

Okay, first of all, I really, really like this idea and where it's going. Not quite a fan of tracks where he dies at the end, unless there's a specific reason for him to do so (ex: Eden 2). The extra power you gave him provided a lot in terms of giving the track direction, which I feel might have been something the previous one lacked.

by Devray Sun Jan 24, 2016 3:44 pm

You're confusing me, Rabid.

by efrazable Sun Jan 24, 2016 3:54 pm

The subtext of this piece is so moving. Mom, I forgive you!

by Chuggers Sun Jan 24, 2016 4:57 pm

that first line thing was almost so cool

by **OTDE** Sun Jan 24, 2016 5:52 pm

I think, to make this track have more of an emotional "stick," I would have recommended the following:

> Slow zoom in on bosh as he dies.
> A single, animated tear flowing sadly down his cheek.
> A voiceover in which Bosh recalls the halcyon days of his youth in a wistful yet simultaneously dignified manner.
> Sync to the flow.