Done, as expected.

2 Weeks and it was great. She went back to New Brunswick for a week, her mother is there, and her family was having a get together of sorts. She left with an "I love you." She gave me hope. I should have expected this, but I didn't. Exactly 1 month after the most amazing night of my life, it's over. I'm not a girl, her feelings for me are non-existent. She tried, and it didn't work. She's gone. And I know don't know what happened, but I feel... Nothing. Towards anyone.

There was this girl, #1 on my "list". A list, not simply for marking down looks of random girls, but the list of people who I actually cared about, people who, with time, I could see myself being able to spend forever with. She was #1 because I knew Snow wasn't into girls, and making her my #1 would be stupid. This summer, I've heard many things, and the 'amazing girl' at #1 is no longer the same. Both in the sense of things that happened make her a different person, but also, something odd. I feel nothing for anyone anymore. There were people who I would feel something for, minor things, major things, but things. The #1, for example. I'd look at her and feel something great. I'd feel a warm, happy sensation. There were people who I could look at and think, "you know, they aren't a bad person, I could see myself with them at some point." Now there's nothing. It's as if I've suddenly lost interest in girls; but gained nothing in guys. It's not that I'm gay, but that I have no feelings for anyone. And with that, I'm changing my life.

This involves many changes, most of which I have no reason to explain here, but there are a few. For example, I will no longer be coming to this site. This site has 5 years of memory, some of the best memories I've had on the internet. It's growing old, dull, and lifeless. It's becoming a nuisance checking here constantly, hoping something new will come up, hoping for a spark of interest. I need something new, something to give me new memories, better memories. Something to give me hope, and a reason to continue. I'll also be quitting many online games. This doesn't affect most of you, but if you ever thought you'd see me one day in Minecraft or WoW or Diablo 3, it won't be happening. I'll be finding new ways to spend my time, though I don't know what yet. But yes, that is it. I'll be checking this forum later tonight, possibly tomorrow, for the purpose of checking this thread. After that, I'll be gone. I won't be returning this time.

FYL man. I'd really recommend a psychologist. What's better money use than paying someone so you can vent to him/her? A psychologist can even give really good advice.
Good luck.

I feel ya on the "I don't feel anything towards anybody, except that one person." It's like you were were missing something in your life up untill you met them, but you didn't know exactly what it was untill them. Love is a [censored]. Time is the only cure for a heartbreak though. I think finding a healthy way to spend your time and keep you distracted is definitely the way to go. Good luck man.

I know how you feel, man. I could only accept the breakup with my ex several weeks after. She was the one and only for me (weird that I have these 'mature' feelings yet I'm only 14...). I wanted to change as well, but it's all a matter of self-respect. I understand you're going through a hard time, but after rain comes sunshine.

Also, listen to .boo.

~boo wrote:Love is a [censored]. Time is the only cure for a heartbreak though. I think finding a healthy way to spend your time and keep you distracted is definitely the way to go. Good luck man.

this

Rafael wrote:FYL man. I'd really recommend a psychologist. What's better money use than paying someone so you can vent to him/her? A psychologist can even give really good advice.
Good luck.

I don't have money, nor do I want a psychologist. Also, I'm the one who gives advice from everyone, I rarely take it as I don't need it.

~boo wrote:I feel ya on the "I don't feel anything towards anybody, except that one person." It's like you were were missing something in your life up untill you met them, but you didn't know exactly what it was untill them. Love is a [censored]. Time is the only cure for a heartbreak though. I think finding a healthy way to spend your time and keep you distracted is definitely the way to go. Good luck man.

Yeah, my bike was just fixed so I can focus on that. One thing though, every night around the same time I become.. sketchy. Normally just laying in my bed, but I randomly think of Slenderman and him being in my room. When I think of Slenderman, I think of her, because we had so many inside jokes and conversations about him. I really hope this does go away, or some how, in some way, god makes it better and turns her straight. Doubtful though.

Helios Pavonine wrote:I know how you feel, man. I could only accept the breakup with my ex several weeks after. She was the one and only for me (weird that I have these 'mature' feelings yet I'm only 14...). I wanted to change as well, but it's all a matter of self-respect. I understand you're going through a hard time, but after rain comes sunshine.

Also, listen to .boo.

My last.. every breakup.. lasted like a day. Not even. I was over it and done, everything was back to normal. This is different. My best friend went from my best friend, to my girl friend, and now to subtle acquaintances. It's not right.

rabid squirrel wrote:

~boo wrote:Love is a [censored]. Time is the only cure for a heartbreak though. I think finding a healthy way to spend your time and keep you distracted is definitely the way to go. Good luck man.

this

Wow, thanks rabid, really inciteful. ._.

Hey pssst.

You'll get over it soon, sure it'll take a bit but it will happen.

Also hope to see you on MSN a lot more <3. I got the site back up, bought another VPS .

Traxis wrote:

rabid squirrel wrote:

~boo wrote:Love is a [censored]. Time is the only cure for a heartbreak though. I think finding a healthy way to spend your time and keep you distracted is definitely the way to go. Good luck man.

this

Wow, thanks rabid, really inciteful. ._.

sorry .-.

I'm serious that boo took those words straight out of my mouth I didn't want to be redundant. Just trust that it will get better in time. Sucks that you've never been through it before and suddenly get a really nasty one :/

Time is not a healer. It's only a concealer for a scar.

Sorry I don't have any advice.

Commandercoke wrote:Time is not a healer. It's only a concealer for a scar.

Sorry I don't have any advice.

but time turns wounds into scars and scars into the bits and parts of who you are. They don't go away, but you don't have to deal with the wounds for the rest of your life. So "time is a healer" not in the sense that it'll all go back to the way it was and we'll all be happy again, but in the sense that it turns the hurt into memories of hurt and turns the memories into the stuff that defines the way you live. In other words, yes, wounds heal, they just change you in the process.

rabid squirrel wrote:

Commandercoke wrote:Time is not a healer. It's only a concealer for a scar.

Sorry I don't have any advice.

but time turns wounds into scars and scars into the bits and parts of who you are. They don't go away, but you don't have to deal with the wounds for the rest of your life. So "time is a healer" not in the sense that it'll all go back to the way it was and we'll all be happy again, but in the sense that it turns the hurt into memories of hurt and turns the memories into the stuff that defines the way you live. In other words, yes, wounds heal, they just change you in the process.

Healing turns wounds into scars; not time itself. Sometimes healing isn't an option.
Or sometimes you start to heal and the wound turns into a scab and then that itchiness reminds you of what caused the wound. So you scratch it and reopen the wound. Sometimes the wound never turns into a scar.

Hey, I know that feel. I hope that you feel better soon

Cya Trax. Good luck on whatever!

It took me awhile to get over something that happened to me. Whenever I thought about it I felt like I got punched in the stomach, and would feel depressed for a few hours until I finally got my mind off of it. After about 18 months I finally found something that helped me learn how to overcome what I was feeling and let it go. Now I can think back to that time without worry of feeling guilty / depressed / ashamed of what I did. I'm going to go say that time is not a healer, it is an instigator of pain. The healing must come from your own acceptance of what happened.

It might take awhile, but it is possible to get over stuff like this. I understand how terrible it feels, and that no matter what we say you won't feel like it will end, just don't give up.

I hope that I didn't post this too late

Time is not a healer itself, the healing comes from learning how do deal with your problems, which takes time.

As I come back here the next morning to make a final post, everyone's debating over "time is a healer". It's not.

When I was a few months old, my parents bought a dog. It was a Siberian Husky wolf dog thing. It was with me everyday for the first 11 years of my life. We had to put it down when I was 11, as it was getting to old and was in pain. 5 years later, if I think about him for more than 10 seconds, I get that punched in the stomach feeling. It's the feeling that, even if he's in a better place, even if things are the best they could be, I'll never see him again, I'll never be with him again. The exact same feeling, that I've not felt in any previous breakups, is happening to me now. Going back to friends isn't a big problem. If I think about going from friends to dating to friends, it seems fine. But I get that feeling because I've come to the realization that the best night of my life, by far, will never happen again. The best times of this summer will never happen again.

And because I know someone will point this out, it WAS the best night of my life. The entire night I made that giant post about. It was for many reasons. First, the girl of my dreams, after 4 years, asked me out. Second, for the first time in a long time I felt needed, rather than just being here and enjoying life. Thirdly, it stopped something I otherwise had no idea how to stop - the beginning of depression. There are many other reasons, I wrote down a bunch on my phone, but there's no point going into everything here. The point is, that night was by far the best in my entire life, and I know it will never happen again. It's as if a small part of me died, and time won't heal that. That will be with me forever.

...

Thought I'd give my two cents, since you know, I want to bump this for personal entertainment and Traxis has been lurking it ever since his "final" post so it's obvious there's still something left to be discussed.

Firstly, you can't possibly know whether time is a healer. You're expected to be emotional at your stage of development, and don't appear to be exhibiting signs of depression beyond your typical "moody teenager" train of thought.

Secondly, "time" doesn't inexplicably heal any personal problems you have, it simply allows to you cope and minimise the intuitive responses you have to past events.

As you grow older you'll doubtless recognise flaws in yourself. For example, it's incredibly obvious from your language that you are emotionally self centered, lack empathy, are arrogant and arbitrarily self indulgent. You'll probably find a lot of the things you feel stem from immaturities like that which I described as you age and learn to reflect critically on yourself.

Most of this is assuming that you are 16, like your profile says. Your birthday is the same as my sister's... creepy.