Linerider: Frosted 2

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Please read description as well.

Pretty good, better than I though you could do

Maybe clean up the scenery a bit, it seemed a little messy/unorganized in parts

also, green room

It's definitely an improvement from the first one.

I agree with chuggers scenery could be cleaned up a bit and it didn't really follow any specific theme/setting.

However it was still pretty decent.

Chuggers wrote:green room

Oshi, right.

Wow, the XY track was honestly one of my favourites Mainly because you kept the flow going at the same pace throughout whilst using complicated and simple tricks. Make more!
The scenery reminded me of GhostY quite a bit, it was pretty great at some parts ^^ Other times it needs a little cleaning up, making it smoother. But overall I really enjoyed it, great work!

SWEET JESUS

Hmm, it was pretty good.

The scenery reminded me of SCG's The Wild quite a bit. And as Wolf said Ghosty too. I wish the only thing I wish you did was not condense it in such a small area, or at least filled in the empty space somehow.

The track wasn't bad either. It had a really good array of tricks, but it felt KINDA slow, so maybe pick up either the pace/speed/flow, and you'd be golden.

As much as I love that song, I don't think it fit very well . I didn't love the spot you synced it too, and I muted it and played it off my iTunes in several different spots, and I don't think it was such a great choice. Sorry man.

Ambitious? Not particularly. Definitely a full blown track though.
Epic factor/Impressive? Ehh, not really
Complete/Cohesive? Somewhat. Stylistically cohesive, but not thematically.
Vision? Didn't really see any
An Experience? Not particularly. Cloud bubble thing was a cool idea, but the lack of any kind of texture or shading made it look awkward/lazy, like a way to get out of drawing more scenery

Quality of art? Some places it was decent, some places it was sloppy. 1:09 was especially sloppy. The squirrel and birds were also particularly sloppy (no offense, but they look like a five year old drew them. Either find some actual photos or cartoons or stay away from animals - they're really hard to draw decently)
Creativity in scening things? Pretty cool, some good stuff
Speed manipulations? None, it was pretty compact (not necessarily a bad thing)
Detail? Great. Maybe a little excessive in some places, sometimes felt like detail was added for the sake of more lines.
Consistency? Pretty good. Stylistically consistent for the most part. (well, the style is pretty random... but randomness can be an acceptable scenery style)
Unified Theme? Not really
Originality? Seemed a lot like GhostY... and there was a lot of (poorly) copied stuff in there
Speed? Was good for an XY, but for scenery... it didn't really make sense, left us looking at the same stuff a lot of the time while the guy jerked around in incomprehensible ways because we couldn't see the track.

Monument placement? Weren't really any. could have been a cool one at the end above him perhaps
Monument usage? weren't really any monuments (not necessarily a bad thing)
3-D (extrusion, adding shine, shading, contour lines, adding depth)? a little bit of flat shading and flat texture, but this was for the most part distinctly lacking. All the stuff that hinted at depth or extrusion was copied from various famous other scenery tracks in a hodgepodge of styles that was disjointed and failed to achieve the effect - most of the time because the style was copied but not understood, and therefore not used in a way that made sense in context.
Made sense? As a two dimensional world it usually made sense but some parts of it were just awkward and confusing to look at. Bosh's movements usually didn't make much sense with the scenery... but given the track this would have been very difficult to do without extreme abstraction in the scenery.
"Hiding" the track? (this is bad) There was quite a lot of this. Partly because it's an XY scened non-XY (never understood why anyone does that), partly because it's a scened quirk (visually messes with the laws of physics), but some of it just looked lazy. Like at 1:06.
Good Ending?Ending was pretty meh - the animals looked really sloppy and there wasn't really anything to tell us "here's the end" besides the fact that Bosh stopped moving.

Sorry if this feels excessively harsh. Please ask me if you have any questions about any parts of the review and I can elaborate and/or explain my meaning! Keep scening, be your own worst critic, and you'll keep getting better!

i really liked it

i really liked the use of making the edges of some of the bricks/blocks be like they're covered in some sort of goo or something :3

the only part that i didn't like was the vines in the middle of the track that went to the left, they were too sloppy :/

but otherwise i really liked this track it really reminded me of my ooooooooooold track distorted (i think it was like my 3rd ever scenery track) but yeah it brought back some memories

good job stallie

That intro is kind of annoying and distracting.
As is your choice in music... meh. I feel it's a bit inconsistent with the track itself.

That aside though, pretty nice work. I wouldn't have guessed it was all XY until the end.

Absox wrote:That intro is kind of annoying and distracting.
As is your choice in music... meh. I feel it's a bit inconsistent with the track itself.

That aside though, pretty nice work. I wouldn't have guessed it was all XY until the end.

You need a new avatar now.

The only thing I didn't like was that the scenery didn't seem to have a theme and just felt like a bunch of random things put together.

Otherwise, I really like the style and I would have never guessed the whole thing was xy

guys, the scenery clearly isn't xy...

(unless I'm misunderstanding something)

rabid squirrel wrote:guys, the scenery clearly isn't xy...

(unless I'm misunderstanding something)

The track is xy, the scenery isn't.

Opal Rider wrote:

rabid squirrel wrote:guys, the scenery clearly isn't xy...

(unless I'm misunderstanding something)

The track is xy, the scenery isn't.

yes, I am aware

rabid squirrel wrote:

Opal Rider wrote:

rabid squirrel wrote:guys, the scenery clearly isn't xy...

(unless I'm misunderstanding something)

The track is xy, the scenery isn't.

yes, I am aware

In other words, judging by the scenery, no one would have guessed the track was XY.

OTDE wrote:

rabid squirrel wrote:

Opal Rider wrote:

rabid squirrel wrote:guys, the scenery clearly isn't xy...

(unless I'm misunderstanding something)

The track is xy, the scenery isn't.

yes, I am aware

In other words, judging by the scenery, no one would have guessed the track was XY.

oh ok

I suppose that's a compliment for the track but a negative thing for the scenery

I love Anberlin, but I don't think the song fit with this track very well. The scenery felt innocent, elementary, and playful while that song is very dark. You also cut parts of the song. How dare you???
With the scenery I think you focused too much on texture and sacrificed a sense of depth because of it. In addition, the texture was inconsistent. I'd say this is more of an experimental track on styles, texture, and shading as opposed to a real project. But that's just part of improving, as I'm sure you will. Keep it up! Also, scening an XY at your level is pretty ambitious. Props.

Chuggers wrote:Pretty good, better than I thought you could do

Maybe clean up the scenery a bit, it seemed a little messy/unorganized in parts.

Thanks for the advice.

Yobanjojoe wrote:It's definitely an improvement from the first one.

I agree with chuggers scenery could be cleaned up a bit and it didn't really follow any specific theme/setting.

However it was still pretty decent.

Thanks for the advice.

Wolf_Spirit wrote:Wow, the XY track was honestly one of my favourites Mainly because you kept the flow going at the same pace throughout whilst using complicated and simple tricks. Make more!
The scenery reminded me of GhostY quite a bit, it was pretty great at some parts ^^ Other times it needs a little cleaning up, making it smoother. But overall I really enjoyed it, great work!

I will make more, don't you worry and thanks for the advice.

Kramwood wrote:You need to stack more on your xy.


Lol jk

Nice job

Lol thanks

Xanthu wrote:SWEET JESUS

Ok

CamQuartr wrote:Hmm, it was pretty good.

The scenery reminded me of SCG's The Wild quite a bit. And as Wolf said Ghosty too. I wish the only thing I wish you did was not condense it in such a small area, or at least filled in the empty space somehow.

The track wasn't bad either. It had a really good array of tricks, but it felt KINDA slow, so maybe pick up either the pace/speed/flow, and you'd be golden.

As much as I love that song, I don't think it fit very well . I didn't love the spot you synced it too, and I muted it and played it off my iTunes in several different spots, and I don't think it was such a great choice. Sorry man.

I'm glad you like the track part, but sorry that the sync wasn't what you liked it to be.

rabid squirrel wrote:Ambitious? Not particularly. Definitely a full blown track though.
Epic factor/Impressive? Ehh, not really
Complete/Cohesive? Somewhat. Stylistically cohesive, but not thematically.
Vision? Didn't really see any
An Experience? Not particularly. Cloud bubble thing was a cool idea, but the lack of any kind of texture or shading made it look awkward/lazy, like a way to get out of drawing more scenery

Quality of art? Some places it was decent, some places it was sloppy. 1:09 was especially sloppy. The squirrel and birds were also particularly sloppy (no offense, but they look like a five year old drew them. Either find some actual photos or cartoons or stay away from animals - they're really hard to draw decently)
Creativity in scening things? Pretty cool, some good stuff
Speed manipulations? None, it was pretty compact (not necessarily a bad thing)
Detail? Great. Maybe a little excessive in some places, sometimes felt like detail was added for the sake of more lines.
Consistency? Pretty good. Stylistically consistent for the most part. (well, the style is pretty random... but randomness can be an acceptable scenery style)
Unified Theme? Not really
Originality? Seemed a lot like GhostY... and there was a lot of (poorly) copied stuff in there
Speed? Was good for an XY, but for scenery... it didn't really make sense, left us looking at the same stuff a lot of the time while the guy jerked around in incomprehensible ways because we couldn't see the track.

Monument placement? Weren't really any. could have been a cool one at the end above him perhaps
Monument usage? weren't really any monuments (not necessarily a bad thing)
3-D (extrusion, adding shine, shading, contour lines, adding depth)? a little bit of flat shading and flat texture, but this was for the most part distinctly lacking. All the stuff that hinted at depth or extrusion was copied from various famous other scenery tracks in a hodgepodge of styles that was disjointed and failed to achieve the effect - most of the time because the style was copied but not understood, and therefore not used in a way that made sense in context.
Made sense? As a two dimensional world it usually made sense but some parts of it were just awkward and confusing to look at. Bosh's movements usually didn't make much sense with the scenery... but given the track this would have been very difficult to do without extreme abstraction in the scenery.
"Hiding" the track? (this is bad) There was quite a lot of this. Partly because it's an XY scened non-XY (never understood why anyone does that), partly because it's a scened quirk (visually messes with the laws of physics), but some of it just looked lazy. Like at 1:06.
Good Ending?Ending was pretty meh - the animals looked really sloppy and there wasn't really anything to tell us "here's the end" besides the fact that Bosh stopped moving.

What, that's not partly quirk its xy and your advice seemed pretty harsh.

GhostY wrote:i really liked it

i really liked the use of making the edges of some of the bricks/blocks be like they're covered in some sort of goo or something :3

the only part that i didn't like was the vines in the middle of the track that went to the left, they were too sloppy :/

but otherwise i really liked this track it really reminded me of my ooooooooooold track distorted (i think it was like my 3rd ever scenery track) but yeah it brought back some memories

good job stallie

Thanks ghosty it means a lot coming from you and yeah I wasn't very sure of what to put in the middle.

Absox wrote:That intro is kind of annoying and distracting.
As is your choice in music... meh. I feel it's a bit inconsistent with the track itself.That aside though, pretty nice work. I wouldn't have guessed it was all XY until the end.

Your advice is disappointing

shotoku wrote:The only thing I didn't like was that the scenery didn't seem to have a theme and just felt like a bunch of random things put together. Otherwise, I really like the style and I would have never guessed the whole thing was xy

Thanks

Commandercoke wrote:I love Anberlin, but I don't think the song fit with this track very well. The scenery felt innocent, elementary, and playful while that song is very dark. You also cut parts of the song. How dare you???
With the scenery I think you focused too much on texture and sacrificed a sense of depth because of it. In addition, the texture was inconsistent. I'd say this is more of an experimental track on styles, texture, and shading as opposed to a real project. But that's just part of improving, as I'm sure you will. Keep it up! Also, scening an XY at your level is pretty ambitious. Props.

Hey I was trying to sync the track as best as I could; other than that I agree that I experimented but not too much, but I mean the XY wasn't.

Stallie, thanks for bumping this!

I forgot to rewatch it, and you helped me remember to do so.

Thanks!

Yeah, sorry about the bump guys I forgot to look at your reply's.