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Zombie Snails

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Post by Danthedragonman Wed Jun 05, 2013 1:10 pm


feedback welcome just dont be mean but otherwise FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!!!
Danthedragonman
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Post by SPL4SHZ0N3 Wed Jun 05, 2013 1:20 pm

Wow, you're learning really quickly! 0:11 - 0:16 was awesome. Smile
I saw some nice manuals in there, and you're getting the hang of flings (even evolving flings and grolls and stuff! :O)
good to see you are having fun and improving at a very fast rate. I can't wait for what's next in store.



SPL4SHZ0N3
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Post by roflmaoqwerty Wed Jun 05, 2013 1:31 pm

First off, another swing and a miss with song selection. Blue is crazy played out, and I wouldn't be surprised if it's been used several times in the 2006 to 2009 period.

Music aside, I was pleasantly surprised by the track! You're able to get gravity wells now, and you strung several of them together with a good degree of variety and complexity (meaning, not just hundreds of string wells after string wells). Here's the hard truth, though: not one actual textbook-definition fling was in that track. Line Rider works on a series of frames, one after the other, in which lines affect Bosh in a certain frame on certain contact points. Most basic flings are structured that the lines affect him every other frame (i.e. one frame has a line pulling him, the next does not, the next does, and so on). I'm sure you've heard this a million times already, but it's the key to successful quirk and it's something that comes with time and practice. Seeing how fast you've been improving, that shouldn't be long.

As for the rest of the track, your manuals are improving drastically, although it seems like you can occasionally tend to get a bit lazy with flatsledding. I know you're capable of manuals, and there are several good ones in here; it's a trackmaking no-no to let manuals collapse into flatsledding in most cases, though. Work on evening out balance and pressure in your manuals; again, this comes with time, and you'll have it down pat in the blink of an eye.

Excellent job! You're making tracks really fast, and each one is showing drastic improvement. I'm liking this trend. Thumbs Up
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Dreadnips are amazing goddamn


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Post by Fauxfyre Wed Jun 05, 2013 1:40 pm

Alright, you've been here long enough, time for some srs review.

All of your flings are very weak. You should try better to keep the flings focused on one part of the sled rather than bouncing around on several. Also, keeping Bosh under the lines rather than slowly getting through the middle of them.

Your flow is disastrous, try to avoid doing things that bog the track down. Your airtime does that very often, when you shoot him high in the air, and he just hangs there for a few seconds without doing anything, then falls back down. Try to utilize airtime as its own trick rather than only using it to get from one place to another.

Your curves are very squiggly and not smooth, making it look like you didn't care about spending much time on your track. The flatsledding would have looked better with smoother curves, but if you tried doing more manuals that would have been even better. Just keep in mind that smoothing out your curves will help a lot. I'm not talking only about keeping the lines more curvy, I'm talking about the overall shape too.

And if there is something you should stop trying to do, don't let Bosh ride on the top of his head too often. This will slow him down, makes it kind of boring to watch the track, and is one of the laziest looking things that can be done. I've noticed your stalls are also like that, and just make your tracks have a less satisfying ending.

Your improving though, just keep practicing, listen to advice, and be happy 8D

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