Experiment, part 2

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Experiment, part 2

Post by rabid squirrel on Sun Jan 24, 2016 3:15 pm

Feedback and constructive criticism appreciated

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nw0-eOvV27I

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Re: Experiment, part 2

Post by Opal Rider on Sun Jan 24, 2016 3:30 pm

Okay, first of all, I really, really like this idea and where it's going. Not quite a fan of tracks where he dies at the end, unless there's a specific reason for him to do so (ex: Eden 2). The extra power you gave him provided a lot in terms of giving the track direction, which I feel might have been something the previous one lacked.

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Re: Experiment, part 2

Post by Devray on Sun Jan 24, 2016 3:44 pm

You're confusing me, Rabid.

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Re: Experiment, part 2

Post by efrazable on Sun Jan 24, 2016 3:54 pm

The subtext of this piece is so moving. Mom, I forgive you!

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Re: Experiment, part 2

Post by Chuggers on Sun Jan 24, 2016 4:57 pm

that first line thing was almost so cool
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Re: Experiment, part 2

Post by OTDE on Sun Jan 24, 2016 5:52 pm

I think, to make this track have more of an emotional "stick," I would have recommended the following:

> Slow zoom in on bosh as he dies.
> A single, animated tear flowing sadly down his cheek.
> A voiceover in which Bosh recalls the halcyon days of his youth in a wistful yet simultaneously dignified manner.
> Sync to the flow.

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Re: Experiment, part 2

Post by Sheldon on Sun Jan 24, 2016 6:59 pm

Not a fan of this and not sure what point you are trying to make.
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Re: Experiment, part 2

Post by Conundrumer on Sun Jan 24, 2016 7:31 pm

I thought the ending was funny!

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Re: Experiment, part 2

Post by ScrungleBlumpkus on Sun Jan 24, 2016 7:54 pm

#downwithopal2014

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Re: Experiment, part 2

Post by Sheldon on Mon Jan 25, 2016 12:56 am

More scenery less curves, and more stalls. Also, incorporate some kramuals. And a monument, preferably a penguin.
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Re: Experiment, part 2

Post by Yobanjojoe on Mon Jan 25, 2016 3:27 am

no real flow 0/10

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Re: Experiment, part 2

Post by gaoyubao on Mon Jan 25, 2016 7:50 am

I think it would be cool if at the end bosh oscillated between two or more "stall" areas instead of him sticking to one spot

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